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First Home · Module 08
08
Module 08 · Worksheet

The Couple's Workbook

Must-haves, deal breakers, and a framework for when you disagree. Do this before your first viewing - not during it.

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Buying a home is one of the few decisions where being a couple is genuinely complicated. You each bring different priorities, different risk tolerances, and different emotional responses to the same property. This workbook is designed to surface those differences before they become arguments during viewings.

The disagreement you haven't had yet

Almost every couple buying together hits a moment where one person falls in love with a property and the other has serious reservations. Or one wants to stretch the budget and the other wants to stay conservative. Or they've been looking for six months and one is exhausted and ready to compromise and the other still wants to keep searching.

None of these disagreements are unusual. But going into the process without a framework for resolving them means they hit you at the worst possible moment - when you're emotionally invested in a specific property.

Complete this workbook separately first, then compare. The differences are the conversation you need to have.

The rule we recommend: If one partner has a serious reservation about a property, that reservation must be fully heard and addressed before making an offer - not overridden. One enthusiastic partner and one reluctant partner is not an aligned decision.

Must-haves - the non-negotiables

List the things that are absolutely required. A property missing any of these is automatically ruled out.

Nice-to-haves - worth searching for

Deal breakers - automatic nos

The disagreement framework

Agree on this process before you start viewing. It prevents arguments from forming on the spot.

When we disagree about a property

Step 1 - No decision at the viewing. Never make an offer on the day of the first viewing if one partner has reservations. Go home first.

Step 2 - Each partner writes down their concerns independently before discussing. Prevents the more vocal partner from setting the frame.

Step 3 - The concerns are heard fully before the other partner responds. No interrupting. No dismissing.

Step 4 - Categorise the concern. Is it a must-have issue (deal breaker)? A nice-to-have issue (accept and move forward)? Or a resolvable issue (something that can be fixed, negotiated, or lived with)?

Step 5 - If still stuck, revisit your must-haves list. If the property meets all the must-haves and none of the deal breakers, the concern is in the nice-to-have territory - and the decision should lean toward proceeding.

Before you move on

Educational worksheet only. Not financial advice. The Investing Couple is a personal finance content brand. For mortgage, legal or financial advice specific to your situation, speak to a qualified adviser.